Fashionista to Passionista

Whether we realize it or not, we inspire others. As we go through our daily routine, we connect with the world, often in ways we aren’t even aware of. Who are you presenting to the world? To your family, your colleagues, your community? Are you a good example, or a horrible warning? I would venture to say that all of us at any given time, are both.

I have lived in my home for just over ten years. Every spring when the weather warms, the joggers come out. And every spring, I see the Old Black Guy. I’ve never met him. In fact I wouldn’t easily have an opportunity to do so because I see him while driving home from work. I don’t see him every day, but I see him consistently enough to know that this man is committed to his jogging. I would say he’s  in his late 70’s or early 80’s, and I’ve seen him jogging in everything from tennis whites (spectacular against his very dark, toned skin) to jeans and a plaid shirt. But regardless of wardrobe or weather, he’s out there, consistently. Seeing him is always a high point in a busy day, and it gives me a sense of continuity and comfort. But more importantly, he inspires me.

Do you find yourself at times wondering where in hell the time has gone? Have you ever told someone you did something four weeks ago and it turns out it was four months ago? And in the blink of an eye, another four months goes by? This happens as we age – time seems to speed up exponentially. What is remarkable to me is that we spend so much of our time doing, there is no time left for being. And recovery time – you know, when you’re staring at the wall or the tv simply as a way to keep all stimulation out – doesn’t count. Recovery time from a rough day, stressful week, bad choice, lousy relationship, is not “down time”. Down time is pro-active relaxation in whatever form centers, gounds, and calms you.You have to move past recovery time to get anywhere close to healthy down time. Part of society’s problem, in my humble opinion, is that people are working their asses off for most of the week, earning a wage, raising families, helping elderly parents, maintaining homes, and then when the weekend rolls around, it consists of more obligations with some recovery time thrown in. I believe that very few us ever actually make it to rejuvenating down time before we’re back to work. But that’s another post (hell, that’s a whole book but I digress…)

My point is that we are so busy that we forget to think about what we’re doing. We know what’s important. By this age we know damn well good health for ourselves and our families is all that really matters. And we tell ourselves, sometimes daily, that we really are going to incorporate a healthy lifestyle into the current maelstrom that is our life. But not today, because I have a meeting. And not tomorrow because I need to take Mom to the doctor’s. And I can’t start on Saturday because my daughter needs the car, and my son has a job interview….  Aw to hell with it, just pass the fast food with a side order of guilt while I plop myself down on the couch to watch bad tv, which raises my stress level even more. Because now, I’m not just being a horrible warning, but I’m aware of it, and I’m ticked at myself (or my family, my job, my dog) for it.

I have had this argument with myself a thousand times, I think many of us have. We absolutely know what we need to do to acquire and maintain the vitality and energy we need to live the lives we really want to live. But somehow, some way, real life always seems to intervene to mess up our best laid plains.  You plan to join that new gym on Monday but you encounter construction so don’t bother. You plan to spend 10 minutes on the treadmill but notice that the floor needs washing (funny, you didn’t notice that before), and so obligation takes over.

Here is the secret to life (at least one of them): Life will ALWAYS mess up our plans. In fact, that’s what life is. Life is messy. The human experience is unpredictable. I believe the secret to creating the balance that we all want and need is to learn to work with the mess, not against it. To determine what is important, and then do it no matter what.

I recently put myself on an exercise program. A naturally thin person, exercise was never a big priority for me. I would like to say that I did so because I recognize that my health is important, I want to be around for my grandkids, I want to climb Mr. Everest but in all honesty, for the first summer ever, I couldn’t get into my white skinny jeans. Yeah, I’m superficial that way. As my URL suggests, I can take pretty much anything that comes my way, but when you start messing with my wardrobe, well that’s when things get ugly. And a significant muffin top spilling over the low rise waistband of white skinny jeans is not a pretty sight. (Let me make a blanket statement right now that I believe people are beautiful at every size; I am talking strictly about me and what I want for me only.)

And so, I made up my mind a month ago to get back into those jeans. And I turned to the Old Black Guy for inspiration. He enters my mind any time I’m thinking of doing something that I’ve been meaning to do for years (exercise, go back to school, learn a new language, enter your own dream here…) He enters my mind because for years - not weeks, not months, but years – he has been out there, a silent, recurring, wonderful, blissfully unaware  inspiration to me as I speed by on my way to spend another six evening hours not accomplishing my goals. And so I picked my sorry ass up off the couch one night, strapped on my iPod, and hit the pavement. I think I was swearing a lot under my breath because I was missing 24 (although I was PVRing it so wtf, really?) but I went anyway.

Fast forward to now, 4 weeks later. I have, consistently, gone power walking every morning and every night. I have, consistently, eaten healthy meals every day which required thought and preparation (both of which I hate – I think I put most of Wendy’s employees’ kids through college). I made this my priority over everything else. I did that by slowing down enough to THINK about what I was doing, and then doing it whether I felt like it or not. It’s that simple, and it’s that difficult. And, now 4 weeks later, I have lost 8 pounds. And those jeans are starting to look pretty good. Interestingly, because I see that I’ve made progress, I don’t want to stop until I reach my goal. I am now positively motivated to maintain this new addition to my lifestyle.

Some of us relish being a horrible warning. After all, we’re always succeeding at something even if it’s failing. For instance, after 10 years of being a single mother, my finances are a horrible warning and then some. And I’ll tackle that mountain once I’ve got this healthy lifestyle down pat. Is there any place in your life where you are a horrible warning? If so, either embrace it or face it!

This spring, for the first time in ten years, I haven’t seen the Old Black Guy. I would like to believe that he has moved house or perhaps he’s changed up his training routine. I would prefer to believe his absence is not as a result of anything tragic. I’ll never know, because I have no idea who he is or where he lives. But he reminded me, consistently, of the importance of being consistent. He reminded me that fanfair and big gestures get you nowhere, and that goals and grand achievements are all as a result of small, consistent, dedicated steps. He reminded me that the tortoise had it all over the hare. He not only inspired me, but it could be said his inspiration caused a significant positive change in my life, without his every knowing it. Simply, he set a good example. You and I are either a good example or a horrible warning at any given time of the day. Think about whom you may be inspiring, most importantly, yourself.